but why??

     so after the tragedy of this week (the Boston bombings) and looking back at the rapidness in frequency of all the horribly ugly things that happen in this world, it kind of shakes my trust in humanity and i start to question God for the reasons, longing for and sometimes demanding answers as to why these things happen in our lives.
    and if i am being honest its not always  just the" big things" that rattle me to this point...
 some times the little by little weathering downs of life just make you look upwards and wonder....

"why?"

or 

"hey! is this funny to you? i hope some one up there is laughing, because i am not!"  

or

 "what did i do to deserve this?" 

(in which my whole teen experience flashes through my mind and i am hushed)

 or

 " ... couldn't you have come up with a better way to teach me

 or prove me or what ever the heck you are trying to do?!"

   yet despite all my complaining and crying and fist shaking, God lets me know in his own way and in his own time the reasons and lessons behind all the sorrow and trials this life can dish out... and that sometimes it takes some rain, or a storm or.... more, to get me to a place where i am ready to listen and learn or be, in the way only he can teach me. 

   today as i was watching the movie "Joseph king of dreams" with my children  this song touched my heart, as its words reconfirmed in me, that as we submit our will and our lives to God and his plan for us, he can work in us so much more!! and our lives and the lives of those he puts in our path will be blessed. even tho in those hard, wretched, horrifying moments, weeks or even years, its hard to see or understand why, it will all be for our good and the lord will make all things right in the end. that he can turn the most horrific experiences into some thing beautiful and sanctified, and i truly believe that. and hope others might find peace in hearing it as well.